What if I told you that telling the truth—even with the best intentions—can still cost you?
That in the rooms where power sits, speaking up can feel like stepping onto a landmine…
You want to advocate.
You want to correct.
You want to challenge the status quo.
But your body says:
“Play it safe.”
“Keep the peace.”
“Don’t make waves.”
🎙️ This episode was born from a conversation I had just last week with a client stepping into a VP-level leadership role.
They pulled me aside after a tense meeting and said:
“I want to speak up, but I don’t want to burn bridges.”
“How do I say what needs to be said—and still build trust with the people above me?”
“I don’t want to be seen as a problem just because I see the problem.”
And I knew we needed to talk about this.
Because they’re not alone—and maybe, neither are you.
Welcome to a Bonus Episode of Leadership Lessons with Dr. Fredrick D. Lee II—the podcast where we grow from the inside out.
Today’s episode:
🎙️ “How to Speak Truth to Power Without Becoming a Target.”
Because here’s the truth:
💥 Courage is messy.
💥 Speaking up can feel risky.
💥 Telling the truth in rooms where silence is rewarded takes a level of emotional skill that most leadership books don’t teach.
Especially when you're:
– New in your role
– Still earning credibility
– Trying to build relationships with senior leaders
– And wrestling with the balance between being respected and being real
Let’s be honest—navigating ego, hierarchy, and hidden politics can leave even the most brilliant leaders second-guessing their voice.
But here’s the deal:
✅ Leadership requires truth-telling.
✅ Change requires challenge.
✅ Equity requires discomfort.
And if we’re serious about impact—not just image—then we need to talk about what it takes to show up with clarity and courage without sabotaging our progress.
So…
🗣️ How do you speak with power, to power… without losing your seat at the table?
That’s what we’re digging into today.
If you’ve ever:
– Stayed silent when something in your gut said, “Say something”
– Spoken up, and then felt the slow freeze of being labeled "difficult"
– Been called “too direct,” “too passionate,” or “not a team player” simply for telling the truth…
🎧 Then this episode is for you.
We’re not here to just talk tough—we’re here to lead smart.
Let’s get into the strategy.
Let’s talk self-trust.
Let’s talk survival.
This is how emotionally intelligent leaders challenge systems and stay standing.
Let’s go.

We often talk about leadership as being visionary, bold, inspiring.
We lift up stories of disruptors, change agents, and innovators.
But what we don’t talk about enough is the emotional tax of being a truth-teller in systems that prefer silence…
…especially when those systems weren’t built for you.
💥 Because the moment you step into leadership as a marginalized professional—especially in traditional power structures—
you carry more than just your expertise.
You carry history.
You carry projection.
You carry the burden of being both visible and invisible—at the exact same time.
Let’s be real:
– You might be the only one in the room who sees the issue for what it is.
– You might be the first to say out loud what everyone else is whispering in the hallway.
– You might be the one who feels the pressure to represent an entire group—while still trying to find your own authentic voice.
And in that space, telling the truth doesn’t just feel risky—it feels exhausting.
Because you're not just advocating a better policy or pointing out a missed opportunity…
🧠 You’re navigating layers of leadership:
– The truth you want to tell
– The image you’re trying to maintain
– The bias you’re managing silently
– And the fear that being honest might confirm someone’s unspoken stereotype
That’s where emotional intelligence becomes more than just a leadership tool—it becomes your shield, your compass, and your superpower.
Let’s break this down.
To speak truth to power in a room that wasn’t built with you in mind requires the ability to:
🔹 Read the room
Not just the words, but the body language, energy, silence, and subtext.
To know when people are resisting your message—or resisting you.
🔹 Ground your voice
To speak not from reactivity, but from clarity.
To stay anchored in your why, even when the air shifts and the eye contact drops.
🔹 Protect your peace
To understand that your job is to offer the truth, not to carry everyone else’s discomfort about it.
To set boundaries so you don’t become the emotional processor of other people’s fragility.
🔹 Deliver the truth with clarity and strategy
Not watering it down. Not weaponizing it.
But delivering it in a way that moves the conversation forward—without burning yourself out in the process.
And let me say this clearly:
🗣️ Being honest doesn’t always feel safe.
Especially when you look like me.
Especially when your lived experience is already seen as “biased,” “angry,” “too much,” or “not objective.”
But here's the reframe:
✅ Being honest doesn’t have to be reckless.
✅ Being courageous doesn’t have to mean being a martyr.
✅ You can speak up strategically and still lead with integrity.
When done skillfully—with emotional intelligence and grounded presence—truth-telling becomes a form of power stewardship, not self-destruction.
🎯 Because emotional intelligence isn’t about playing it small—it’s about playing it smart.
It’s how you protect your voice, preserve your purpose, and push for change without losing yourself in the process.
Let’s dig into what that actually looks like.

Let’s break it down.
Why is speaking truth to power so hard?
Because power is often protected—not by reason, but by defensiveness, silence, and fear.
When you challenge someone in a position of authority—especially within systems built on hierarchy—you’re not just questioning a decision…
You're disrupting their sense of certainty and, often, their unconscious identity as “the expert.”
In doing so, you may unintentionally threaten:
– Their ego (how they want to be seen)
– Their status (how they believe they rank in the room)
– Their control (the unspoken need to maintain order and authority)
And here’s where neuroscience comes in.
🧬 According to Dr. David Rock, founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute, the brain processes social threats—like embarrassment, criticism, or being contradicted—in much the same way it processes physical danger.
His SCARF model (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness) explains how people often experience feedback or disagreement as a threat to their status and certainty, activating the same neural pathways associated with the fight-or-flight response.
💥 So when you speak truth to power—even gently—you might trigger a stress response that results in:
– Sudden tension in the room
– Defensiveness or interruption
– Dismissive comments
– Or worse—retaliation masked as “professional feedback”
🧠 Harvard Business Review has also documented this phenomenon. A 2018 study on workplace silence found that employees often withhold input from those in power due to a “climate of fear,” particularly in hierarchical organizations with poor psychological safety. People don’t stay silent because they lack ideas—they stay silent because they fear punishment, perception, or being misunderstood.
So if you’ve ever walked out of a meeting feeling punished, iced out, or branded as “difficult” for speaking up?
📍You’re not imagining it.
📍You’re not being too sensitive.
📍You’re reading the real emotional dynamics of power.
And this is where emotional intelligence becomes your most strategic leadership asset.
Because emotionally intelligent leaders don’t just say what’s true—they say it in a way that it can be heard, received, and remembered.
They know that:
🧭 Telling the truth without strategy is honesty.
🧭 Telling the truth with strategy is leadership.
That’s the difference between being right and being effective.
Because we’re not just here to speak truth—we’re here to create change.
🎯 So let me give you three truths about speaking up that will reframe how you lead, especially when the stakes are high:

✨ Truth #1: Timing is Tactical, Not Weak
You don’t have to say everything in the moment to make it meaningful.
✅ Sometimes, pulling someone aside after the meeting preserves dignity and opens the door to real dialogue.
✅ Sometimes, waiting 24 hours gives you time to ground yourself so you respond from wisdom, not woundedness.
📈 Benefit: You protect the message by choosing a moment when people can actually hear it.

✨ Truth #2: Framing Builds Bridges
How you frame your truth matters.
Instead of saying:
🗣️ “This process is broken and unfair.”
Try:
🗣️ “Here’s what I’m noticing, and here’s how I think it’s impacting our outcomes. I’d like to explore a more equitable approach.”
You’re not watering down the truth—you’re anchoring it in shared purpose and outcomes.
📈 Benefit: This keeps you from being dismissed as “emotional” or “complaining” and reframes you as a strategic thinker.

✨ Truth #3: Your Safety Matters, Too
Some environments are simply not safe for truth-telling.
In those cases, document. Protect. Seek allies.
And if needed, escalate through formal channels—not solo, but supported.
Remember: Silencing yourself isn’t noble if it costs your well-being.
📈 Benefit: You protect your voice, your values, and your longevity as a leader.

Here are 5 Change Moves to help you speak truth to power—with strategy, not self-sacrifice.
These aren’t just tips—they’re survival tools for emotionally intelligent leaders navigating high-stakes environments.

🔹 1. Ground Before You Speak
Before you say anything hard, check in with yourself.
✅ Breathe.
✅ Pause.
✅ Anchor.
Ask yourself:
“What am I actually trying to shift here?”
“What tone, body language, and timing will serve that outcome best?”
This activates impulse control, which is critical when emotions are high and stakes are real. When you're grounded, you're less likely to sound reactive and more likely to sound intentional.
📌 Practical tip: Take 90 seconds before a meeting or confrontation to center yourself. Try this breathwork pattern: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Visualize your goal and rehearse a calm tone—not just your words.
🎯 Skills Activated: Impulse Control + Self-Awareness

🔹 2. Speak to Outcomes, Not Just Emotions
People in power often tune out emotional appeals—especially if they feel personally implicated. That doesn’t mean emotions aren’t valid. But if you want to be heard, lead with impact.
✅ Use data.
✅ Link your point to business goals, patient outcomes, retention, equity metrics, or risk mitigation.
Instead of saying:
🗣 “This policy feels unfair.”
Try:
🗣 “Here’s how this policy might be impacting staff morale and productivity. If we address it, we can reduce turnover and build a more engaged team.”
📌 Practical tip: Use the “So what?” test. After stating your concern, ask yourself, “So what’s the impact if nothing changes?” That’s the point you lead with.
🎯 Skills Activated: Strategic Thinking + Influence

🔹 3. Ask Powerful Questions
Instead of confronting someone with accusations, invite them into reflection.
Questions disarm defensiveness and build psychological safety.
Try:
– “What data are we using to guide this decision?”
– “How are we considering equity in this process?”
– “Is there a way to include more voices in this conversation?”
These questions shift the energy from calling out to calling in.
📌 Practical tip: Write 2–3 go-to questions that align with your values and use them consistently. Questions like these position you as thoughtful and strategic—not combative.
🎯 Skills Activated: Emotional Agility + Empathy

🔹 4. Build Coalition, Not Isolation
Telling the truth alone can make you a lightning rod.
But truth, when echoed, becomes harder to dismiss.
✅ Consult with colleagues, mentors, or affinity groups.
✅ Sense-check your perspective before going public.
✅ Ask others: “Have you noticed this too?”
When you speak with the backing of a coalition, your message carries more weight—and you carry less risk.
📌 Practical tip: Don’t just build relationships when you need support. Invest in trusted allies before the hard moments. That way, you’re not isolated when it counts.
🎯 Skills Activated: Relationship Management + Teamwork

🔹 5. Know When to Document, Escalate, or Exit
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the room just isn’t safe.
If retaliation, gaslighting, or reputational damage starts creeping in—don’t ignore it.
✅ Start documenting everything: dates, decisions, emails, reactions.
✅ Know your rights and your reporting channels—HR, compliance, unions, or DEI leaders.
✅ And most importantly, protect your peace. No job, title, or “seat at the table” is worth your dignity or mental health.
📌 Practical tip: Create a “Safety Folder” (digital or physical) for receipts, notes, and context. It’s not paranoia—it’s preparation.
🎯 Skills Activated: Boundaries + Self-Regard

💬 Bottom line?
Speaking truth to power is not about winning arguments.
It’s about building credibility while staying grounded in your values.
You don’t have to choose between your voice and your career—but you do have to choose your strategy.
Let’s make your leadership both powerful and sustainable.

🎧 Your Coaching Prompt for This Bonus Episode:
📝 What truth have you been holding back because you’re afraid it’ll make you a target?
Now ask yourself:
– What’s the cost of silence?
– What would it look like to speak that truth with wisdom, not just frustration?
– Who could support you in doing it?
Because here’s what I know:
You can be both strategic and sincere.
You can tell the truth and keep your peace.
You can speak up without tearing yourself down.
🗣️ And when you do—when you learn to hold your power without burning out—
That’s not just leadership.
That’s liberation.

📬 If this bonus episode resonated, share it with a leader in your life who’s navigating hard truths.
We need each other.
🧠 And if you want help building these skills?
I offer coaching and consulting for emotionally intelligent leaders who are ready to create real change without losing themselves in the process.
📧 Email me: info@mrchangeyourlife.com
📱 Follow on Instagram and Facebook: @DrFredrickDwaneLeeII
🎙️ Like, subscribe, leave a review—and be part of this growing community of truth-telling, heart-centered leaders.
🗓️ Next time on Leadership Lessons:
🎙️ Episode 10 – “The Cost of Being the Strong One – Leading When You're Tired of Holding It All Together.”
We’re getting honest about the weight of leadership, performance pressure, and what it really means to rest without guilt.
Until then…
💡 Change is constant. But your growth?
That’s intentional.
I’m Dr. Fredrick D. Lee II, and this has been your Leadership Lesson – Bonus Edition.